An almost sort of day...

I was supposed to go to the dentist today.
I was supposed to have 3 filings done.
I was supposed to spend the rest of my day mouthing soft foods...

I had a lot if supposed tos today. Instead... I freaked the f out. not my worst freak or ever (I've had some doozies) but well on its way. I'm sitting there and they stick the numbing stuff in my mouth and I'm doing pretty ok. Not excited by any means but doing some deep breathing, listening to a Harry Potter audio book and some white noise in the background for good measure. Then they lay me back and ask me to open my mouth to put in a piece of cotton and I take a couple deep breaths and... I can't do it.i just can't bear to open my mouth. Even more, my mouth now clinches close and I can feel a look of utter abject horror etch itself onto my face and tears start to seep out my scrunched closed eyes.

So... They let me cry for a little while and then sat me up and got me the heck out of the chair and on my way. I think they were trying to limit the amount of bad feelings I had associated with the office. Oh and now I have a prescription for helicon. Yay Benzos!